The long and short is communicate everything with your attorney and little with your soon to be ex.
First, with your attorney, it is important to share relevant information about your case. This will include but not be limited to the following:
- Personal information;
- Date and place of marriage;
- Prior marriage counseling;
- Health issues including substance, emotional and/or physical abuse;
- Children with ages along with educational, health, religion, and extracurricular backgrounds;
- Ability to spend time with your children;
- Employment, income, and benefits;
- Hours of work;
- Financial assets and liabilities;
- Significant others;
- Money used for purposes unrelated to the marriage such as gambling and other addictions; and
- And any other matters your instincts tell you to disclose.
Second, with your soon to be ex, it is important to limit your conversation about your case. This will include but not be limited to the following:
- Do not share what was discussed with your attorney unless your counsel has advised you otherwise;
- Be careful what you say and write in text and emails as they could be used as evidence against you;
- Limit your use of social media. This is often used in court proceedings and the other side can take what you think is nothing and blow up the situation by putting you in a bad light. In the event your case is highly litigated, your soon to be ex or their close contacts will often spend a considerable amount of time stalking your social media;
- Stay off of dating apps until your divorce is finalized; and
- If you have children, you want to maintain communication with the other parent for matters involving your kids but again, please be cognizant of what you say or write. Keep communications short and to the point. Do not be derogatory to the other parent and always remember to put your children’s best interest first.