Lynette Boyd

Yes, now is the time if you need to file a motion to get the issue before the court to decide.

1. If you already have a court ordered holiday plan, look it over to make sure you understand it. Sometimes special events occur on the holidays so you will want to address any modifications to the schedule as soon as possible. If there is a disagreement, then try to get in to see a mediator right away. Often your order will require this before you file a motion in court.
2. If you do not have a court ordered holiday plan, then discuss with your attorney about filing a temporary motion to set a schedule. Some standard holidays and times off include but are not limited to Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, winter break and depending on your religious practices, there may be other celebrations.
3. If you do not address these matters soon, it will be difficult to get the court’s ruling and generally these type of issues do not constitute an emergency. If you do not receive a holiday this year, then keep track of it so that when a permanent schedule is drafted, you can possibly get it the following year.

1) You can be in the comfort of your own surroundings.

2) It doesn’t feel as confrontational as face-to-face meetings can be at times.

3) You can have something to focus on if you don’t want to make eye contact.

4) Remote access. You have a big convenience factor with no commute time either way.

5) You can touch up your appearance if you like.

6) You have the ability to screen sharing thus preventing the need to haul documents around.

7) Whiteboarding allowing users to draw and make notes in real time which helps with things like creating parenting plans.

8) It is cost effective especially for non-evidentiary court appearances.

9) It is simple to get set up to use plus it is free by downloading the app.

10) Google provides calendar support.

11) Counteract worry about using zoom by telling yourself the meeting will be OK, nervousness will subside and practice ahead of time with a friend.

12) Remember that during regular in person meetings it is acceptable for people to stretch, re-adjust and get water. You should feel free to do the same on zoom and not be of the opinion that you cannot move.

13) Wear proper attire.

14) Do not do anything you would not normally do at an in-person meeting like smoke for example.

15) Avoid talking over people. Only one person can talk at a time which keeps the meeting very controlled unlike what can occur during face-to face meetings.

16) If necessary you can go into break out rooms rather than having to physically get up and go into a different room in an office if there is one available.

It is in the children’s best interest to have parents reach mutual decisions concerning their children rather than an individual who knows little about the children other than a few hours in a contested hearing. Often when parents are told they will have to attend mediation on parenting issues I observe an eye role or a sigh as if it is a lot of extra work. People do not understand the importance of mediation in these circumstances. It is going to be more cost effective, less stress on the family, and produce a better environment for all if you can do the following:

1. Narrow the scope of the disagreement! Clearly delineate and break down the areas requiring decision making. Some parents are so emotionally upset with the other parent that they just do not want to even look at them much less talk to them.  In the best interest of your kids, you need to put your emotions aside. These are the major areas the court is looking for you to agree upon:
2. Health care;
3. Education;
4. Religion;
5. Extra-Curricular; and
6. Parenting time for both parents;

If you have older children, then there will already be a history of decisions made on these issues and a mediator and/or your attorney should help you break these down further so that an agreement can be made. For example, a suggestion on medical might be that if the pediatrician was selected a long time ago and the child still sees that doctor, why not agree to follow the recommendations of the doctor if there is a disagreement? Your mediator and attorney should be able to help you generate more options like this. You may not settle everything but if you can settle some matters, that is well worth your time, money and overall well-being of the family.